What to do when one of your parents is in hospital AND your wedding anniversary is coming up? How to handle your broken heart AND your best friend’s wedding? What is the right thing to do when you just got a promotion AND your partner got laid off in the same week?READ FULL ARTICLE>>>>
Throughout life, you will face adversity. There will be challenges, big and small, AND there will be positive events happening at the same time. How to embrace that ambiguity – this famous “AND”? How to juggle pain and joy simultaneously?
Silence is an excellent teacher. It helps you to truly listen to your body, emotions and thoughts. If this feels very uncomfortable for you, start with five minutes. Set the timer on your phone, close your eyes and just feel. What comes up? Where does it hurt? What thoughts are coming up again and again? By closing your eyes you can tune in to your body. You might be surprised how much it has to say to you.
Once the five minutes are over, it helps to write it all down. Doing a mental download during a moment of distress and strong emotions will pull you more into the present moment. Seeing it all written down will also create another layer of awareness.
In addition, you can also literally let it flow. Feel like crying? Good! Feel like shouting or yelling? Perfect! Feel like shaking it all out because there’s simply too much? Do it!
You can also start with the physical part before you write it all down. It will help you to clear your head and body and let all the emotions, so-called energy in motion, flow through you.
Experiencing a joyful moment, or knowing that a joyful moment will come up, at the same time as you are going through a hard time, might lead you to a guilt trip.“I cannot be happy now.”, “It is not ok to mix joy with sadness.”, “I cannot celebrate our wedding anniversary while one of our closest family members suffers.”All these thoughts telling you to stay in your sorrow and to deprive yourself of everything uplifting can lead to a much longer phase of sadness and darkness. Don’t go there.
To take the example from above: Will anyone suffer from you taking your spouse to dinner to celebrate your wedding anniversary? Will your family member suffer less if you don’t do it? And finally: what do YOU need? Wouldn’t it be beneficial for your wellbeing to take a little break and celebrate your marriage? The celebration might be smaller than what you would have imagined (maybe), but especially if you are going through a hard time, it is crucial to find joy in the small moments. Unfortunately, you have to force yourself a bit more to see and actively seek them when you are in a challenging phase. Yet, it is worth it AND it is necessary. Self-sacrifice is never the solution.
Carrying this kind of weight alone is extremely excruciating. There are moments when you feel lonely and don’t see the famous light at the end of the tunnel. When you reach this kind of moment (at the latest), get in touch with a close friend who you can share your thoughts, doubts and worries with. If you have a therapist or coach you’ve worked with in the past, it is also helpful to contact them.
The pain might not dissolve completely, but you will feel less lonely, held, understood, and who knows, maybe a spark of light might shine through, too. And that is all worth picking up the phone and sending a message or calling someone.
Even during tough times, there are often small victories, moments of connection, or simple pleasures that can bring happiness. By embracing ambiguity, you can appreciate these small moments without feeling guilty or dismissive of your challenges. Celebrate both small and big accomplishments, even when you’re facing difficulties. Whether it’s a personal milestone, professional achievement, or simply getting through a tough day, every accomplishment deserves recognition.
Only you will be the final judge of your doings. You are not responsible for the feelings and reactions of others. You have the authority and permission to allow yourself to find moments of joy while experiencing hardship. Why? Because this is your life.READ FULL ARTICLE>>>>
